


Unwanted Attention

by ActiveAgression



Series: Soulmate's Thoughts Universe [6]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Asexual Ray, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, how does tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 13:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6755242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActiveAgression/pseuds/ActiveAgression
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As an asexual, Ray is cursed with his soulmark being exclusively sexual and... very very dirty. He's just a tad bitter about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwanted Attention

**Author's Note:**

> Blah blah.. soulmates thoughts universe - your soulmate's thoughts randomly appear on your skin... blah. NOT RELATED TO THE OTHER ONES IN THE SERIES! JUST THE SAME SOULMATE CONCEPT. If you want, you can pretend some of them fit together but know I didn't write them that way. 
> 
> AND I KNOW RAY'S GONE! AND I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK! RAYWOOD 4EVA!

When Ray first got his soulmark, he wasn’t sure if it was a gift or a curse. Unlike most people’s, it was tucked away from sight underneath layers of clothes but it also remained fairly tucked away from his own sight. If he really contorted and stretched and was mostly naked, he could just see the words curling up around his inner thigh, settled just barely below his left butt cheek. Even then though, it was upside down and he had to strain to read what was actually there. 

Back then the effort was worth it, just a soft glimpse of his soulmate’s thoughts, but now… Ray never even checks anymore. He knows what it says anyway, got it down to a sort of timeline;

‘Wonder what his dick…’ appears around once a day, sometimes more but never less. Sometimes the sentence is finished but mostly it remains blank with potential. 

‘…mouth,’ appears more often though, at least a couple of times every day and he never got the first part of it but he gets the gist. His soulmate is thinking about doing things with his mouth… all the time. 

‘My soulmate’s a pervert,’ he thinks miserably but knows it’s not true. People think about sex a lot, pretty much all the time really.  The problem is that Ray doesn’t, he doesn’t like it, hates to think about it and there it is all the time… tingling up his thigh and he rarely checks it but he knows what it’s saying. He’s uncomfortable in his own skin every time he feels the brush of words because he knows that someone, whoever they are, is thinking about sex with him and he doesn’t want that. At all. 

Really he should never have spent that one vacation checking the brown words every time they tingled. It was then that he’d discovered that every thought that came up on him was about sucking him off or fucking him or being fucked by him or something else that made him equally scared to ever meet his soulmate because Jesus, they really only thought about sex with him. 

It’s always -  _ always _ \- sexual, the one thing Ray can’t accept. 

 

It wasn’t always like this. Before they’d proximised or whatever, the random thoughts had been nice – simply little snippets of thoughts about his soulmate’s day or food sometimes. 

It had been games a lot and Ray had been so excited to meet someone who liked games just as much as him but now the thought of figuring out who it is turns his stomach like nothing else ever has. 

All those little thoughts he’d used to read occasionally in bed, pulling his waistband down over his hip and further to glimpse them had been nice and the fact that they’d all been overruled by his soulmate’s seemingly insatiable lust over him was both disappointing and terrifying. 

Not only would he be face to face with a seeming sexual deviant, he’d also disappoint them immediately with the knowledge that all they thought about would never happen, Ray would never let it. 

His soulmate would probably be disgusted, drop him immediately in the way soulmate’s aren’t meant to do. How do you take rejection from someone who’s supposed to be your other half? 

 

Ray’s thigh burns one night as he’s sat on his couch, schooling the other Achievement Hunters in Super Smash Bros. He’s still got his three lives and so has Jack while Geoff and Michael are on two, Gavin’s on one and Ryan was out before any of them thought possible. He’s been pretty distracted all day though, concentrated on some other train of thought so they just leave him to his stack of losses. 

Ray yelps, drops his controller on the carpet and watches as fucking Yoshi kicks Kirby out of the arena. 

“Shit!” he swears, angry at the loss. 

“Shit!” he yells again as his thigh burns hotter, like no pain he’s ever felt. His soulmate must be concentrating pretty hard on whatever it is.

“Fuck,” he wails, stumbling from the couch as Michael reaches out to him, worried and Geoff pauses the game. Gavin’s watching with wide eyes and Jack… already has his phone out, obviously intending to call an ambulance if it’s needed.

“What’s wrong?” Michael asks, standing now to steady him and Ray just shakes his head, stumbling off with Michael’s support to find a bathroom. He vaguely notices Ryan hasn’t acknowledged any of it and feels a stab of hurt in his gut. He thought him and Ryan were pretty good friends, closer to each other then a lot of the others but evidentially not. Ryan’s just sat there, elbows on knees as he stares hard at the wall across the room. 

The thought doesn’t stay for long though as the pain intensifies and each suck of air inwards becomes harder and tighter and with every exhale, Ray feels like he might pass out. He shoves into the bathroom and starts pushing at his jeans frantically, Michael staring from across the room like he’s a lunatic. 

“Ray… what the hell are you doing?” he asks and Ray gasps in pain, hands clenching into his jeans as he spits out, “just help me.”

Michael does, helping him out of his pants until he’s stood there in his ridiculous X-Ray underwear that Gavin got him, bending awkwardly to see his words. They’re red almost, far from their usual brown and for once not sexual at all. 

‘Find him,’ they say and Ray stares for a long moment until the pain lessens abruptly and the words shift to become, ‘wonder..?’

Ray breathes in shakily, buries his face in his hands and embarrassingly starts to cry.  Michael wraps him in a hug and rubs up and down his back in what Ray guesses is supposed to be a soothing manner. As soothing as Michael can be...

“Hey… it’s okay. It’s all okay,” he whispers and Ray clings to him stupidly until he gathers his wits and pushes away. The redhead shifts his feet and bends only slightly to look him in the eye.  “What happened bro?” he asks and Ray shrugs a little. 

“What happened is my soulmate finally had a single thought about me that wasn’t sexual and I’m pretty sure it almost killed me.”

“Sexual? But you’re…” 

“I know that. You know that. He doesn’t though; he doesn’t even know if I’m the same person as the one he’s fantasizing about. He wasn’t thinking about finding me! He was thinking about finding an abstract idea, the idea of his soulmate. But God it’s every thought, Michael! How do I deal with that? And now, for fucks sake, he wants to find me! He wants to find me so much that it burned and – and what happens then? He finds me and finds out I’m ace and what? Just gives it all up? He’s gonna hate me, Michael!” Ray shouts, breaking down slightly before straightening and rubbing a weary hand over his face. 

“He wouldn’t hate you. No one could hate you.” 

Ray sighs a little but smiles nonetheless at the sincerity obvious in Michael’s voice. 

“I think I’m ending game night now. Could you ask everyone to leave please?” he whispers and Michael nods slowly, backing out of the room. He hears whispers and Gavin sticks his head around the door to wave at him and then silence. Everyone’s gone. 

 

He can feel their eyes on him when he arrives at work the next day and knows he must look like a wreck. 

He didn’t get much sleep last night, somewhat haunted by the ‘find him’ burning at his leg and not because of the pain, but rather because of the worry - the worry of his soulmate actually finding him, finding out it’s Ray and wanting him, wanting him in that way that Ray can’t want himself. 

At least, he thinks, squinting at Ryan, I don’t look the worst here. 

As it is, no matter how much of a mess of hair and squints and bleariness he is, it has to be better than the disheveled hobo look Ryan’s apparently trying to pull off. His t-shirt’s on backwards and the tag’s sticking out, there’s stubble everywhere and his blue eyes are glazed in the obvious ‘no sleep’ way. He looks a little bit dead if Ray’s honest. 

“Yo man, what happened to you?” Michael blurts as he walks in behind Ray, looking Ryan up and down in the exact way Ray just had. 

Ryan raises a defeated yet quizzical eyebrow and shrugs, “it’s not important,” he mutters, something sad lurking in his eyes and voice. Something very sad, and a lot broken. 

And shit, Ray can’t just sit by and let that be a thing so he addresses it later when shitty work ethic and tiredness land Ryan in the office after hours, needing to complete work overtime. 

“What’s with the sad face?” he asks, leaning back in his chair - balancing just on the edge of toppling over entirely and if that isn't just the fucking metaphor for his life, he doesn't know what is - and sees Ryan turn slightly. 

“It’s really nothing,” Ryan assures, even as his voice hitches. 

“Obviously, it’s something,” Ray insists, planting all the chair legs back on the floor in some attempt at office safety.

“My soulmate doesn’t want me.” 

Ray falls off his chair in surprise, despite his safety precautions, looking up at Ryan from his new spot on the floor.  He’s never heard Ryan talk about his soulmate before, never heard it mentioned at all. Even when the rest of the AH crew have casual chats about the concept as a whole, Ryan stays silent and pensive the entire time. 

“You found them?” he asks, itching his thigh absently as it flares a little.

“No, and I don’t think I should,” Ryan mumbles, staring down at his hands and clasping - unclasping - clasping them together. 

“Why not?” Ray clambers back to his feet and plops back down in his chair. He’s not sure why he’s still talking about this with Ryan; he certainly can’t give advice about the whole soulmate thing. 

“Well, I thought maybe I should find them,” Ryan starts, “but then they seemed so horrified by the idea like they don’t want me to find them at all and am I really so unlikable that they don’t want me... at all?” 

Ray snorts, eyes widening as he covers his mouth and shakes his head, “I am so sorry,” he apologises, “I - really, I’m not laughing at you. That’s horrible really, it’s just the irony of it all.” 

“Irony?” 

“That both of us are having such problems with our fucking marks.” 

“Yours doesn’t want you?” Ryan asks cautiously and oh so sadly.

“Oh, they want me,” Ray assures, spite overtaking his tone, “they definitely want me. Just not in a good way.” 

“They want you in a - a creepy way?” 

“They want me in the sexual way,” Ray sighs. 

Ryan blinks. “Doesn’t everyone?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused and Ray snorts at that, laughs a bit. 

“Thanks for that, but… it’s just that I’m ace… it’s all a little uncomfortable.” 

Now Ryan looks even more confused, like he’s about to pull out his phone and try to look up answers without Ray noticing. He looks from his pocket to Ray and back again before tilting his head questioningly at Ray, deciding to just suck it up and ask. 

“Ace?” Ryan asks, word weird sounding like he’s not sure how he’s meant to pronounce it. 

“Asexual,” Ray explains just a touch awkwardly. He’s used to having to explain it, but not used to talking about it with his colleagues - well, specifically Ryan. 

“You - you don’t like people?” 

“What? I - what!? No! I don’t like sex, the idea of it or having it or.. anything really…” 

Ryan squints at him, trying to process what this means mostly, “But you have had it?” 

“No, and do not say ‘how do you know then,’ cause damn it! I know!” 

“What’s that got to do with your soulmate?” Ryan asks instead, veering immediately off the question he’d obviously been about to ask. 

“He finds me very 'sexually pleasing',” Ray mutters, intentionally trying to make the phrasing disturbing. 

Ryan swallows, “ah… and this… scares you?” 

Ray shrugs, “I guess.” 

Ryan nods, makes an awkward ‘don’t know what to say’ face and turns back to his computer. 

 

Half an hour later, when Ray yawns and starts packing his stuff up, Ryan turns back - obviously with something to say; something he’s likely been thinking about all this time. 

“I’m sorry for every fantasy I’ve ever had about you,” he apologises and Ray drops his stuff at the sheer ridiculousness of the statement. He glances over, incredulous, but Ryan looks beseeching and serious… and fantasies? What?

“I don’t care, it’s fine.” 

“No really, I am very sorry for-” 

“Ryan, I don’t care as long as I don’t know about it,” Ray interrupts, realising even as he’s saying it that it’s not entirely true but figures it’s Ryan; he can’t exactly do any harm by _thinking_ about Ray inappropriately. But then thoughts click together, cogs whir and turn and Ray finally considers it, ‘what if Ryan’s my soulmate?’

How would he even tell? Is there even a sure fire way of knowing? 

The thing is - there totally is - and the entire thought of it makes Ray uncomfortable and maybe there’s a different way, but maybe there’s not and Ray can’t think of anything else but he thinks he needs to know. He pops open the button of his jeans, trying so fucking hard to be casual about it like it's nothing, not a big deal at all. In his desperate self convincing, he thinks maybe Ryan won't even notice. He does though. His eyes startle open so wide and his pupils dilate and, God, even if they are soulmates how do they get around that? 

“Wha-?” Ryan begins, obviously trying to school his thoughts and failing horribly. Ray doesn’t really pay attention, unzipping and pushing his jeans down as he tries not to think about what Ryan’s seeing right now… thinking right now. 

Then his thigh tingles, burns a little and he angles his head in time to see his words change. Upside down, it takes him a moment to read. 

‘Holy fucking shit,’ they say, but that really isn’t quite the confirmation Ray needs. 

He glances back up at Ryan and - deep breath, don’t freak out, just say it - “let me suck you off,” he manages and Ryan looks so lost and a little like he’s about to cry - but then Ray’s thigh bursts into flames that aren’t really there but he can feel them and; ‘...mouth, and yes. Fuck… yes… please please… yes… holy… yes’. 

He watches the words appear and fade just as quick as Ryan reads them from his thigh and realises. ‘Holy fucking shit,’ they repeat. 

“You’re…” Ryan manages but doesn’t get much further. 

“Asexual,” Ray finishes though he knows that’s not what Ryan was going to say. 

“Asexual?” Ryan repeats absently, mind abandoning him and the previous conversation all but forgotten until his mind comes back and snaps the connection into place. “You’re asexual…” he says, rubbing a hand over his face. This is the moment, Ray knows, where Ryan really actually thinks about it and decides Ray can’t be what he wants - isn’t good enough. Soulmates or not, Ryan won't want him as he is. 

Ray’s about to tell him it’s okay and nothing has to change when Ryan grins.

“Holy shit,” he says, “you’re my soulmate.” 

“And asexual,” Ray reminds him. 

“My asexual soulmate… and that’s just how I want you.”

“Asexual?” Ray deadpans. 

“Exactly as you are.” 

“Have you not been here for the last ten minutes?” 

“What?”

“Cause if you had been, you’d know that I don’t want to have sex with you-” 

“That’s fine,” Ryan interjects.

“No, it’s not. I’ve seen your thoughts, you know. And I know how much you want to.” 

“I may want to,” Ryan begins, glaring when Ray goes to interrupt, “but that doesn’t mean we have to. I want to be with you, sex or not - hell, soulmate or not.”  Here he pauses, looking Ray over speculatively, “is that Vav underwear?” 

Ray looks down and sure enough, “yeah, Gavin got me a matching set.” 

“and...” Ryan says as if continuing a sentence he hadn’t started, “I'm still willing to date you even with… those… if you want.” 

He’d started out strong, faltered a little towards the end and the ‘if you want’ came out half whispered like he actually expected Ray to say no. For a long second, Ray considers saying no. 

“We can try,” Ray offers, “no promises and if you can’t handle it, no hard feelings.” He tries to keep it casual, his voice shaking just a little as he realises he’s actually doing this - trying to get into a relationship after his last attempt went so horribly wrong - he and Michael hadn’t spoken for months afterwards. 

He shuffles his chair forward more towards Ryan and holds out a hand; for what, he doesn’t know - maybe some kind of handshake to confirm the deal or some hesitant handholding but Ryan kind of stands from his own chair, pulls Ray out of his in one smooth movement and - Ray tenses, fight or flight on his mind - pulls him into a hug. It’s not even particularly tight or intimate, but it is warm and feels sort of like a commitment. 

“My last boyfriend couldn’t handle it,” he mutters into Ryan’s chest, not sure why he’s attempting to dissuade Ryan exactly cause this does feel rather nice and Ray wouldn’t mind more or it, but maybe he just needs to be sure; sure Ryan isn’t going to bail straight away. 

“He was an idiot then.” 

“It was Michael,” Ray adds. Ryan makes an odd humming noise at that and when Ray looks up at him, he’s nodding slightly. “You're not surprised?” 

“Not really; you guys just occasionally have this tension between you. You know, the sort exes get…” 

“I didn’t know at the time, that I was ace, and he was so pissed that I was never into it… We worked it out eventually, but Michael can’t handle that sort of thing.” He eyes Ryan speculatively, “I’m not even sure you can.” 

“Maybe not,” Ryan admits, “but it’s worth trying and you are forgetting one thing...”

“Yeah?” 

“We’re soulmates.”  With that, he leans down the slight distance between them and kisses Ray carefully and gently. It’s studiously slow and chaste like he’s trying desperately not to freak Ray out with this. 

Ray smiles a little into the kiss. He appreciates the effort, but kissing’s never been the thing that freaks him out - he’d spent many a lazy afternoon at the beginning of their relationship, making out sleepily and warmly with Michael until his lips didn’t feel the same and Michael’s mouth was wet and red. That was, of course, before the stage of their relationship where Michael attempted to stick a hand down his pants. That he hadn’t liked. But kissing? Totally.

Ryan’s eyes fly open in surprise as he feels Ray’s tongue against his lower lip and he hesitantly opens his mouth - slowly, so very slowly that Ray wants to roll his eyes- but he gets there and in a slight blur of movement, Ray pulls him further down, with one hand fisted in the material of his shirt and the other curled around the back of his neck, to press closer into the kiss and for a few seconds thinks he may have shattered Ryan’s mind. 

The other man simply goes still, slack in his grip and then wrenches himself bodily away from the kiss. Ray tries not to feel too sad and unwanted, fails horribly and goes to turn back to his work and forget it happened at all.

“Holy hell Ray,” Ryan gasps, “christ, that was… unexpected.” 

“Sorry,” Ray apologises glumly, surprised when Ryan reaches out for and takes his hand. 

“Don’t be sorry… I just need a moment.” 

“Oh,” Ray mutters, realisation hitting him like a brick as he watches Ryan attempt to control his breathing and close his eyes. “You’re turned on.” 

Ryan chuckles, just a touch breathless, “unbelievably.” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s completely fine. Not your fault.” 

Ray sighs, grips Ryan’s hand tighter, “I meant that I can’t - you know - do anything about it.” 

“Still fine,” Ryan says, smiling, but there’s strain showing in his expression as his breathing exercises apparently do nothing to help. 

“Would it help if I was wearing pants?” Ray asks, gesturing to his British flag covered underwear with one hand as his other tries to pull his jeans up from around his knees where they’ve been since Ryan made him stand up. 

“Actually, I think the terrible underwear is helping,” Ryan jokes, voice wavering. Tension is obvious in his shoulders and stature. He reminds Ray inexplicably of his old chemistry classes when they talked about the properties of solids and how they were held so tightly together but they vibrated with movement. Ryan looks a little like that - holding himself so still he’s shaking with the effort. 

Ray breathes in deep and makes a decision. “You can go jerk off if you want, I don’t mind.” 

Ryan’s expression does something interesting and he looks a little like someone worried about walking into a trap, “really?”

“Really.” 

“Can I think about you?” Ryan asks, “while I-” 

“If you want.” 

“Oh thank fuck,” Ryan curses, rushing towards the door as quick as a boner stricken man can. Ray watches him go, somewhat amused by it all. 

When, two minutes later, his thigh twinges and stings a little, Ray doesn’t look and doesn’t care. It doesn’t bother him anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comment and crap if you enjoyed this. It's been in a state of 'i'm not quite sure it's finished' for about 2 weeks and i figured fuck it, so here you go. Hope you liked and requests are appreciated always :)


End file.
